fall.

its' here! it's really really here :)

my favorite season, ever - even though it's always way too short, and leads us into winter [my very very least favorite].

i wish i was cool enough to call it autumn - i liken it to calling violet 'purple' - but hey.

it all means the same thing. beauty.

fall to me is

*crisp, sweet smelling air

*oversized hoodies, layered clothing, hats and scarves

*lots of soups [namely split pea, butternut squash, black bean and tomato - but i'm not picky]

*nighttime outdoor activities galore

*halloween parties!

*romance. [colder air means more snuggling and affection + since b and i started dating in september, the season is always full of great memories]


+ last but not least


change. fall always seems to be the season where i encounter my most dramatic life changes - in all areas of life. there will be more on this soon.


right this very moment, i'm enjoying some split pea soup + whole grain crackers.

i would very much love to be outside, though - cuddling on the grass under a blanket and abig tree with my husband and puppy!


and speaking of puppy...


this past saturday was our puppy pixie's 3rd birthday :)

she's now officially older than us in dog years... *sniff.

the cake itself was a vegan peanut butter maple banana variety... she loved it, and we love her :)
time to go back to work now... break seems shorter and shorter these days!
xo
L

wow.

after completely finishing my makeup this morning, i realized i managed to completely forget to apply foundation...
either this raw thing is making me hella glow, or i'm just that batty.
more to come on all of the above...
xo
L

ugh.

i'm sorry.... but if you eat fish. or chicken. or ANY creature of the animal kingdom, you are NOT vegetarian.
i think at least once, every time the issue of me not eating meat comes up, someone chimes in with 'my [insert relation here] is vegetarian. he/she/they only eat fish and/or chicken.'
or the rebuttle of 'fish don't have feelings so they don't count.' in response to my questioning.
i'm not so upset with people's common misconceptions as i am with someone wanting to label themselves as such - but not actually fit into the category.
don't get me wrong... i totally think it's rad to choose compassionate eating, and decreasing your intake of meat is always a positive, but what's with the eagerness to don said label?
when did it become culturally 'cool'?
and if it's so cool, what is everyone doing still eating meat?
i hate having to point out my veganism as much as i do, but when it comes to eating, i sort of have to know what's on my plate. i'm not here to preach, and i certainly did not choose veganism to impress my peers or anyone.
i also don't care what anyone chooses to eat [within reason... no cannibals, please]. i don't judge others just as i don't want to be judged.
bottom line:
if you think vegetarianism is so cool that you label yourself as such, it's at least cool enough to actually live your life that way.
aaaannnnddd i'm talking to the wall.

I’m not quite sure where to even start.

Yesterday turned out to be more than I bargained for.
Maybe it was because I didn’t get enough sleep. Maybe it’s because I’m detoxing. Maybe it’s because I have problems??? Ha.

This entry will serve many purposes – the most important one to me at the time, will be to mellow me out and organize my thoughts [hopefully, anyway].
Let’s start with Tuesday night. Wow.
For starters, I got to see some friends I haven’t seen in what feels like a lifetime… one being mister Cassidy – a dear friend for the past 13 years… wow! We never see each other anymore - a sad result of conflicting schedules over the past few years - but a good concert always brings us back together :D
Also in attendance was my brudder, seastar and Brittany [who I really need to hang out with more… seriously loving that girl]. In agreement with Steph [seastar], I really wish Shell could be there, but hopefully I’ll see her around soon 
The concert of course, to which I speak of, was the Of Montreal show!
Music is, and always has been my cure all. As soon as we walked into the venue, it was like all my trouble had melted away. Janelle Monae was rocking the shit out of the stage, and I was instantly enamored. To say she was talented – that the music was amazing – that I can’t get enough of her – is a disservice to the overall delivery she so skillfully administered. You just have to see her. Please. Youtube her now – and make sure you watch at least one live performance.
I was pleased that her set was long enough to have honestly been the headliner. I’m NEVER like that with opening bands – no matter how much I enjoy them. I’m usually far too anxious for the headliner to start, often saying ‘I’d like them so much more if I wasn’t waiting for --------- to play after them!’
By the by, I was pumped. The adrenaline rush I get at a live show is unlike any euphoria I’ve experienced elsewhere. The crowd was intense. We were literally packed like sardines down In the 3rd row of the pit, but everyone was giving off the best vibes. Nobody was fighting, people were saying ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’, and all were equally euphoric – albeit for a myriad of reasons. Brittany and I found ourselves engaged in several conversations with persons who have seen OM perform before – reassuring us that this was going to be one of those shows we never stopped talked about.
Finally, it started. The stage quickly filled with band members, props, crazy lights and actors. This show was the real deal – capturing every one of your senses and holding tight. I don’t have pictures – in fact – Brittany’s camera died before the show started, but if you follow the link above to Steph’s blog, her most recent entry has a few photos of the beauty  Please also refer to viewing live performance clips on YouTube. You won’t be sorry. I’d also like to point out how enamored I am with Kevin [lead singer] Barns. He completely fulfills that category in my heart that yearns for talented, sexy, cross-dressing lead singers. His sense of fashion completely blows me away, in fact. I’d love for him to take me shopping and pick out an entire outfit for me – and we could do each others makeup and hair… and go to a swanky party… or frolic with unicorns… or cuddle and share our deepest dreams and fears… or… Ooooh ok. You’re still here and reading this.
Back to a topic NOT verging on inappropriate.
I can’t remember last time I danced that much! I could have gone on for hours without realizing the time – which is pretty much what I did – until the stage cleared in preparation for the encore. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but I knew it would be anything and everything. Moments after a girl next to me grabbed her friend and shouted ‘OMG THEY’RE GOING TO DO THIS!! AAAH!!,’ Kevin popped back on stage wearing black sequin hot pants [have I mentioned how much I love sexy cross dressing lead singers???] along with the rest of OM, Janelle + Crew and all the stage performers to sing THRILLER and a collection of other MJ hits.
I’d like to point out that Janelle can moonwalk flawlessly. Yeah. The encore was amazing, and I believe it lasted for at least 10-15 minutes.
Not wanting for it to be over, we headed to the merch booth where I bought an OM poster [I’ll purchase a shirt offline later, along with Janelle’s entire music collection!!!] that I think I’m framing for sweet bathroom art [the colors really mesh in there].
After only 3 hours of sleep, I was up again for work. It’s been dragging here lately. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me – but what I do know – I can’t share at the moment. Soon enough, friends, soon enough.
Anyway, Wednesdays are my long days since I have band practice afterwards just around the corner.
I realized when I arrived to work that I never put my ID, check card or cash back into my wallet. Thanks to my great friend and coworker whom I affectionately refer to as ‘Jimmychanga’, I got something to eat for lunch, and the Larabar in my bag ensured some fuel to keep me through band practice. A brief shopping outing with my mom after work [I have 2 hours to play with between work and band] also left me with 3 oranges, $10 [and a rug for the front entrance of my house]. Thanks, Mom!
Band practice eventually rolled around, and that’s pretty much when things went farrrrrrrr south. Argumentative conversations, lengthy interludes of zoned out song composing, finding out that we’re scheduled to play on a hip hop night and my overall exhaustion paled in comparison to my anxiety issues kicking in at full force. Yep, I probably need professional help – or for that matter – to go back on my prescription, but for now, I am what I am.
When I have an ‘attack’, I feel very isolated, vulnerable and paranoid. It gets really loud in my head, and I can’t think straight. I feel like I’m in immediate danger of something that I can’t see or hear, but somehow, that doesn’t matter. I panic. My chest gets tight. My imagination and subconscious take control. It’s awful. Sometimes I cry or scream.
Needless to say, all I wanted was to go home.
My wish was eventually granted, and after settling in, I passed out on the couch until it was time to wake up. Fun, right?

That’s enough of a post for now. Next post will [probably] be about raw foods and some art. Yesssss.

weekend fun :)

determined to not let anyone or anything ruin our weekend together, brandon and i planned something for every day - friday through monday. i didn't want to allude to anything in too great of detail before it happened due to my newfound paranoia for our house, but i suppose it's ok now :)

friday started off great since i was off work :)
i got to spend time with my little cousins, that is not only one of my favorite things to do in the world, but also my aunt.
later that day, we went to one of our favorite sushi places, sakura. jason, our favorite chef, greeted us warmly and promptly made us a dragon roll and my [modified vegan] veggie roll. he's so sweet!
originally wanting to see machete, we opted to see something different since we'd rather see that in a group of friends. devil [the new m.night film] was our second choice. i was not super thrilled by the movie. without spoiling anything, it was one of your average good vs. evil movies in the most obvious of senses. brandon liked it, but then again, he's not too hard to please with movies :)

saturday was [apparently] cincinnati's first comic convention. we decided to go, and include our good friend dr. brian on said adventure. it was... fun. really, it was - but it wasn't something you could spend your whole day at. it was very much worth $7 though, and with the promise of coming back next year to a large convention space downtown, i'm sure that will be a lot more fun :) after leaving, we headed to whole foods so i could get a salad, and then to 5 guys for the men. we drew silly cards [that i should have taken a picture of!!!!!] and posted them on the wall there. we did, however, take a picture of this gem:

courtesy of dr. brian :)

the husband and i spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.

sunday was, of course, our anniversary :) i woke up early and made us [vegan] crepes. we spent a good part of the morning enjoying each other's company, and spending time with our puppy since we wouldn't see her that night. after being completely lazy and enjoying each other, we headed off to dinner at don pablos - who were very accommodating to my dietary needs, and had amazing margaritas! we took home a lot of food.

.. but also put a lot away :)

hey... it's only your anniversary once a year, right??
after a very lovely evening together, we enjoyed some tasty breakfast and set out to spend stupid amounts of money on our monday off.
that included, but is not limited to:

dressing pixie up like a taco [!!!]

a new shower curtain that totally kicks ass...

and salt+ pepper shakers for my little brudder :D :D

in other words, we had so much fun together on our extended weekend!
naturally, i have no desire to return to work tomorrow, but i have no choice. it's time to work on my neglected freelance now... wish me luck!
xo
L

checking in [and out]

what a great and relaxing weekend! i'm so thankful for my husband. I am sad this is our last day before going back to the 9-5 shuffle, but we always have our 530-12 + weekends. life is grand. my troubles are. million miles away :) full post to come soon... probably...:)

xoxo
L

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meh.

being robbed is such shit.
we don't even want to leave the house, for fear of a repeat - or something even worse.
sigh.
whenever i'm in a funk, i usually do my makeup.
today, that meant purple lipstick.

my husband fully supports this.
ha.

happy birthday, mom!

actually, mom's birthday was last friday, but on account of our house being burglarized and my mom having to work, we celebrated today with these babies:


my vegan cupcake spin on hostess sno balls, and a nice dinner out.
these puppies were well TASTY. it was a last minute idea of mine on the way home from work :)
i used a basic [vegan] chocolate cake recipe, adding a half tsp of coconut extract, and then my veganized version of a long passed down family icing recipe with 1.5 tsp coconut extract and .5 tsp vanilla. i accidentally purchased sweetened coconut to dip them in, but that probably adds to a truer flavor to the treat i mused from. it's been so long.... who knows.
anyway, that's about it from me!
i NEED to work on some artwork tonight, but it looks like i'll be doing that tomorrow on my off day instead.
goodnight, lovelies!
xo
L

it's my friday today!

yes. i'm taking a much needed day of to....
well, probably work on freelance. but i can do it in my jammies, right???
i'm working on several pieces currently. a tattoo design for my wonderful seestar, a handful of logos ranging from high school sports teams to repo work, and a personal project or two :)
this weekend will be all about my husband and i after fiveoclock tomorrow, though!!!
it's our one-year wedding [and 6-year dating] anniversary this sunday the nineteenth <3
we're kicking it off with sushi+machete [the movie], and follwing that will be a local comic book convention, a night at a very swanky hotel, and at some point, i'm going to make our anniversary cake. [shit shit shit when???? maybe tomorrow.]
my break is already over by two minutes, so i'll close this entry with a comment on how disappointing it is when you value someone's opinion enough to show them something artistic you are working on, and they give a very thoughtless - very automated - response.
i.e. 'it looks good' or 'i like it.'.
perhaps, i'm asking for too much. and don't get me wrong, i appreciate the positive wording... get what i'm saying?
sigh.
what's for lunch?

mpr's first performance!

this past sunday was my band's [my pet raptor] first live performance. yes, we made it out of the cave that is chris's basement, in search of sunlight and [hopefully] positive feedback.
i'm a member of my neighborhood's village art council, 'SPVAC' [cutely pronounced 'speevack'], and they offered us a time slot to play at our [now] annual FAF arts sampler weekend.
after some issues with sound and hooking everything up, we were set to play.
i gotta say... not having my big ol' chunky headphones on [like in practice to help me hear my vocals better] was like riding without training wheels for the first time! ack. my security blanket was gone, and i had to rely more on

1) the fact that i can actually sing, and so therefore should trust that, even though i can't really hear what is coming out of my mouth
+
2) everyone in the audience was there to be supportive and and this was our chance to test the waters safely and positively

that plan ended up working out rather splendid, although, i wish i moved around a bit more. i was constantly conscious that a step in the wrong direction could interfere with feedback [our setup had to be just a certain way due to the space we were playing in, and any changes could result in rather unsavory results], along with the fact that i'm not comfortable enough with some of my lyrics, and had a stand set up so i could reference them.
overall, we all did a great job in my opinion. i was so proud of my band for finally getting that 'first gig' out of the way :)
it was neat meeting everyone's parents... paul's dad came up to me to shake my hand 'so you're the girl that sings...' hehe. it was cute.
i got choked up a few times - especially singing welcome pain - which is about losing my late cousin and best friend. after the show, it turns out several people reacted similarly. it's so crazy to wrap your head around your lyrics and music moving others...
it is also worth adding that while i write the bulk of the lyrics [unless otherwise noted], the entire band contributes to the music writing process. man. it's unreal to sit down and flesh out a tune. i'm learning piano so i can contribute more in this process [for the longest time, i'd hum the tune and hope for mutual comprehension, but i've recently downloaded several music apps for my phone that i use to record my musical thoughts [in a very basic, naive manner of course].
we will be watching our entire performance tomorrow night, and putting more songs together!
i probably have so much more to say, but as i'm 1) at work, + 2) super distracted, that will have to wait.
i leave you with a recording of a currently unnamed song [that we currently refer to as 'epic']\
from sunday...
or perhaps not.... it won't let me share it!!!
boooo.
xoxo
L

it's a blog!

yep.
i've finally taken some steps toward my own website.
first thing's first: blog it. let people see it. maybe they'll ask me about my site!
peer pressure!
so there you have it.
xo
L